One day this week, my day started of pretty bad.
I could blame Instagram, and the time it inevitably eats up, I could blame the fact that Arthur wasn’t feeling very well that week and was demanding my time more than usual. I could blame the mountain of washing on the kitchen floor also demanding my time, but here I am learning not to look for blame and be accountable…
Arthur was playing with his toys in the playroom, the light was hitting the wall perfectly, ‘what a great picture’ I thought. So with pots still in the sink and beds unmade I spent the good part of 45 minutes sat on the playroom floor catching the perfect angle for a #shelfie picture! What has my life become?!
The ironic thing is I just ended up shutting the curtains, as the light was too glaring, and snapped a pic. Not a very good one at that. It was definitely one of those moments to enjoy with my eyes! Lesson learned (probably not!)
My time had been eaten up.
That day was one of those days, where anxiety was getting the better of me and my thoughts were going wild. I was procrastinating on everything that I needed to do.
In one of my earlier posts, I speak about my self care routine I hadn’t taken my own advice, I had let it slide.
I hadn’t written in my journal for longer than I cared to remember. I wasn’t really making time for myself to be creative. I was busy every evening making rainbows and knitting for my little business Enchanted Rainbows and while I loved this, I had taken on too much work, making it a little less enjoyable.
It’s all the little things that add up. All the things I don’t do for myself. I am starting to look at cleaning the house as an act of self care. As I was walking out of the house a few days ago, in a crazy rush I was leaving the breakfast pots, hoping Dan would wash them when he came home, thinking about how I loved the feeling of coming home and them being done. What didn’t I do this myself? For me?!
My monkey mind was taking over….where shall we go today? To the woods? Maybe not, Arthur wasn’t feeling well. We will just stay inside. That’s no good, I can’t stay inside all day and look at the house, there’s so many jobs that need doing. The kitchen needs painting for a start. I hate the floors. They need painting too. So many jobs. So much money. Thinking of money, I was supposed to be doing a no spend January? What’s the month now? APRIL?! Oh god I’m terrible. We would save some money if I actually get around to doing that meal plan, so we didn’t go over budget for shopping every month. Must do that tonight. I shouldn’t have spent so much time taking that stupid picture! Oh crap, I have parcels I need to post!
Cue manic rushing!
See how easy that is, for me anyway. Letting that monkey mind take over. Letting my thoughts take over. From one simple thought, leading to a downward spiral of should haves and must dos. Leaving me with a sense of failure and inadequacy. A path well trodden.
I stopped for a moment. I made the beds, I washed the pots, I wrapped the parcels. We got dressed and I put Arthur in the buggy and walked….
I had a bit of a Forrest Gump moment. I walked and I breathed in the fresh air. I focused on all of the things around me. The grass, the blue sky, the flowers. I literally stopped to smell the flowers. Breathe…. I relaxed. We watched the birds and the bumble bees buzzing. Ah! Nature, it does that to me, if I let it. That day I did. I gathered my thoughts. I was thankful for the awareness I could bring to them. Yes I had let my self care slide. Yes I needed to get more organised. This weekend, I will prioritise what I need to do.
We walked past woods, fields and made a detour through a Costa Coffee! I must sort that latte addiction out, but that’s for another day….
We walked 8 miles that day! Well I walked 8 miles, Arthur was quite content being pushed in the buggy, watching the world go by, in between naps.
Now making meal plans may not sound like a profound act of self care, but for me it is part of the puzzle. It makes my overall life easier. I am using this as my journal right now. I am on the right track.
Self care isn’t just bubble baths, sometimes it’s 8 mile walks with a poorly three year old, washing the pots before you leave the house, and making meal plans and budgets.
That’s my weekend sorted.
Hope you all have a lovely one!
Thank you for reading,
P.S I’d written this post last week and I have hesitated to post it, so here I am, Sunday morning hitting publish. I haven’t spent much time at all on social media this week (apart from a few moments to reply to messages) and I have to say what a difference it has made. It frees up so much TIME! Surely that is one of the most important things in the world. I need to find a balance between growing my Instagram, my little rainbow shop and my life! Work in progress ❤️
P.P.S Here is a really interesting article on procrastination Why procrastinating has nothing to do with self control.