Tag Archives: healing

One Day

One day this week, my day started of pretty bad.

I could blame Instagram, and the time it inevitably eats up, I could blame the fact that Arthur wasn’t feeling very well that week and was demanding my time more than usual. I could blame the mountain of washing on the kitchen floor also demanding my time, but here I am learning not to look for blame and be accountable

Arthur was playing with his toys in the playroom, the light was hitting the wall perfectly, ‘what a great picture’ I thought. So with pots still in the sink and beds unmade I spent the good part of 45 minutes sat on the playroom floor catching the perfect angle for a #shelfie picture! What has my life become?!

The ironic thing is I just ended up shutting the curtains, as the light was too glaring, and snapped a pic. Not a very good one at that. It was definitely one of those moments to enjoy with my eyes! Lesson learned (probably not!)

My time had been eaten up.

That day was one of those days, where anxiety was getting the better of me and my thoughts were going wild. I was procrastinating on everything that I needed to do.

In one of my earlier posts, I speak about my self care routine I hadn’t taken my own advice, I had let it slide.

I hadn’t written in my journal for longer than I cared to remember. I wasn’t really making time for myself to be creative. I was busy every evening making rainbows and knitting for my little business Enchanted Rainbows and while I loved this, I had taken on too much work, making it a little less enjoyable.

It’s all the little things that add up. All the things I don’t do for myself. I am starting to look at cleaning the house as an act of self care. As I was walking out of the house a few days ago, in a crazy rush I was leaving the breakfast pots, hoping Dan would wash them when he came home, thinking about how I loved the feeling of coming home and them being done. What didn’t I do this myself? For me?!

My monkey mind was taking over….where shall we go today? To the woods? Maybe not, Arthur wasn’t feeling well. We will just stay inside. That’s no good, I can’t stay inside all day and look at the house, there’s so many jobs that need doing. The kitchen needs painting for a start. I hate the floors. They need painting too. So many jobs. So much money. Thinking of money, I was supposed to be doing a no spend January? What’s the month now? APRIL?! Oh god I’m terrible. We would save some money if I actually get around to doing that meal plan, so we didn’t go over budget for shopping every month. Must do that tonight. I shouldn’t have spent so much time taking that stupid picture! Oh crap, I have parcels I need to post!

Cue manic rushing!

See how easy that is, for me anyway. Letting that monkey mind take over. Letting my thoughts take over. From one simple thought, leading to a downward spiral of should haves and must dos. Leaving me with a sense of failure and inadequacy. A path well trodden.

I stopped for a moment. I made the beds, I washed the pots, I wrapped the parcels. We got dressed and I put Arthur in the buggy and walked….

I had a bit of a Forrest Gump moment. I walked and I breathed in the fresh air. I focused on all of the things around me. The grass, the blue sky, the flowers. I literally stopped to smell the flowers. Breathe…. I relaxed. We watched the birds and the bumble bees buzzing. Ah! Nature, it does that to me, if I let it. That day I did. I gathered my thoughts. I was thankful for the awareness I could bring to them. Yes I had let my self care slide. Yes I needed to get more organised. This weekend, I will prioritise what I need to do.

We walked past woods, fields and made a detour through a Costa Coffee! I must sort that latte addiction out, but that’s for another day….

We walked 8 miles that day! Well I walked 8 miles, Arthur was quite content being pushed in the buggy, watching the world go by, in between naps.

Now making meal plans may not sound like a profound act of self care, but for me it is part of the puzzle. It makes my overall life easier. I am using this as my journal right now. I am on the right track.

Self care isn’t just bubble baths, sometimes it’s 8 mile walks with a poorly three year old, washing the pots before you leave the house, and making meal plans and budgets.

That’s my weekend sorted.

Hope you all have a lovely one!

Thank you for reading,

Amy ❤️

P.S I’d written this post last week and I have hesitated to post it, so here I am, Sunday morning hitting publish. I haven’t spent much time at all on social media this week (apart from a few moments to reply to messages) and I have to say what a difference it has made. It frees up so much TIME! Surely that is one of the most important things in the world. I need to find a balance between growing my Instagram, my little rainbow shop and my life! Work in progress ❤️

P.P.S Here is a really interesting article on procrastination Why procrastinating has nothing to do with self control.

Into the Forest I go….

It’s been a funny old week here this week….

A while ago I wrote a blog on self care and the steps essential to looking after myself. This week is the perfect example of how that goes tits up, haha!

I’ve had the holiday blues for a start. Now I hate having holiday blues…I like to try my best to make a life that I don’t desperately want a holiday from!

It’s not so much about the places we visited or where we stayed, it was the freedom and togetherness that I miss so much.

Just before we went away, I had a sudden urge to de clutter. Now I use the term declutter lightly. I wanted to go through the house like a whirlwind…but I had no energy nor the time…haha!

So off we went on holiday…we stayed in a caravan. I absolutely loved living in the tiny space.

At home, we live on the top floor of an old hall…it is huge, and as much as I try not to hoard stuff, it feels like it takes a lot of stuff to make his old place look homely!

Big old hall…

We lived with four of everything, and only had a small bag of clothes each. I took a bag of toys for Arthur (and me!) that he seemed to play with much better because there wasn’t so many to choose from….

So I was determined to do some decluttering this week, so on Monday I threw myself into it, in no particular order, with boxes and bags randomly piling up around the flat.

I had came home to a load of work to catch up on in the hall too (which I do on an evening).

I think Arthur missed our time away too as he was particularly clingy, so was hard to get things done.

I had stuff to do on Tuesday, visiting family, etc…so was out of the house all day. Wednesday our Home Ed meets started back up again after the summer, and our regular forest school was back on Thursday!

Honestly I am a huge introvert too, a lot of social things drain me, and I need to counterbalance it….

The arrival of Friday morning saw me knee deep in boxes, and an untidy flat…..I hadn’t done any of my usual housework,telling myself I would get rid of the boxes first (still piled up all around)

Also due to me being busy and having lots of lunches on the go with the kids, I hadn’t eaten properly all week.

Dan was due to leave that evening for a weekend of fishing and my sister was arriving Saturday morning with my nieces and nephew to stay, so I needed some organisation…..

Total recipe for disaster!!

Honestly, this is one of those points in the past, that would trigger massive anxiety and depressive feelings. I could feel my heart racing and I needed to get my shit together.

I knew what I needed….

I needed to get some fresh air, I needed to walk in Nature. I needed connection with the kids and not just busyness.

All the boxes were piled up in one place, the housework could wait!

We got dressed (me and the kids) I made a flask of tea and hot chocolate. I stopped for coffee…a latte was needed desperately at this moment…Arthur napped in the car. Ollie went off to the bakery and got us some lunch. Sandwiches and cakes!!

We headed for the forest. Arthur made his way up the hilly woodland so slowly. Ollie stopped to explore every mushroom and bug he came across and it was exactly what we needed, me more than anyone…

We stopped to play with the toys, the kids went off exploring while I snapped some pictures.

We had lunch, I wasn’t impatient, the kids attacked me with long tickly grass, we all laughed lots. Arthur got tired and we had snuggles in the sling.

I went home revived.

We waved daddy off, I made us something to eat. Basic pasta and veg (basic, nourishing and easy to clean up after!) I done basic housework.

The kids were tired from all the fresh air, Arthur went to bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

I sat down an made a mandala. I knitted. I had a cold beer. I watched things about Witches on TV. I drank more tea.

I gathered my thoughts…knew I needed to take more care the next week. There is no rush….Breathe! Take my own bloody self care advice..Haha!

Saturday was much the same…my sister came over, all the tidying would wait until Monday. We went into the woods, Arthur stayed in his pyjamas all day, the kids collected conkers for ages….

Monday I will go back to basics and look after myself. I’ll keep you updated on my decluttering process….

Anyway I’m not sure what the point is to this post…maybe when you need to get your shit together, go to the forest, the sea, just retreat into nature, preferably with some kind of caffeine!

Or more eloquently put…

Off to the forest I go, to lose my mind and find my soul – John Muir

Thanks for reading!

Amy x

p.s. I’ve written this at 4am on Sunday morning, Arthur hasn’t been very well all night….definitely need my plan of self care in place for the week ahead!